So far, I like being 30 because it makes me reflect on my 20s; experiences I have had, places I have seen, knowledge I have gained, new friends I have fallen in love with, and behaviors I have changed. I have outgrown things I used to consider “important” and turned that attention toward new things.
For those who know me, know I don’t ever really sit still. Growing up with learning disabilities and some sort of ADHD, maybe I felt like I had something to prove. But I truly believe that behind any “weakness” lies an even stronger strength and motivator. In my 20s, I have built an 8 figure business, traveled on average 2 full months out of every year, which has led me to 32 countries, bought a beautiful home, and a few toys along the way.
Most experiences and possessions my 20-year old self-wrote on the bucket list, I have crossed off; while still having 70 years to go. So I found myself a little lost. I started asking some bigger questions and started to find some answers that really resonated with me. So that is what I’d like to share.
Happiness… my wise 30-year-old self believes it’s the underlying reason we do most things that we do. The root of the decisions we make, things we buy, experiences we create, and goals we chase. If you look at a lot of the decisions in your life, they revolve around, “will this make me happy?” or “will this bring me joy”? (that might not be the way you word it, but deep down that is the true desired outcome). Sometimes we make sacrifices hoping it will bring ourselves more happiness in the long run, or bring happiness to someone we care deeply about, or if you’re a really good human, happiness to someone who you do not know and maybe will never meet.
I built my business on the theory called ‘growth hacking’, If I am at A and I need to get to E, how do I do it in the least amount of time and using the most efficient way? Can I skip steps B,C,D? So, if happiness is the desired outcome, is it possible to live in that state more often than not and apply the same theory?
I have been fortunate enough to understand at a young age that happiness is not on the other side of that fancy car, or watch, or goal that you worked so long to achieve because as soon as you reach that goal line, it seems to have moved. I now realize that those accomplishments you set for yourself will be a forever moving target, and that’s ok. Just make sure you don’t put happiness on a pedestal at the end of that target that’s always moving. In short, happiness has to come from the journey… not the destination; because well, 99% of your life is spent in the journey phase.
I started reading a lot on this, talking to family and friends, mentors, and people in my life who radiate joy. I’d like to share the big learnings that I have come across in this self-discovery journey in the hopes it can give you a kickstart to yours.
Sh*t In = Sh*t Out
What you put into your body is what you will get out. If you put shit in your body, you will feel like shit, simple as that. Your energy, motivation, excitement, thoughts, clarity, and positivity are all affected by your diet. If you feed your gut bad food that does not agree with you, it will mess with your chemical balance in both the body and the brain. Since your brain is responsible for your happiness, the cleaner you eat, the happier you will feel. Trust me, try it for yourself.
Happiness does not come without hard work, you have a choice you can make every moment of the day, and that is to be happy or not to be happy, to have a positive outlook on the day or situation or a negative outlook on the day or situation. That choice is ultimately yours, and only yours to make.
I would define happiness as, a state of stillness of the mind and true enjoyment of the moment. Things that take away from that are stress, frustration, anger, over thinking or dwelling on the past and always focusing and thinking about the future rather than enjoying the present.
Recognize and be Grateful
Gratitude is one of the closest emotions to happiness; to really appreciate what you have, how far you have come, and the struggles you overcame, and more importantly, the people in your life that helped you along the way.
Don’t Waste Your F*cks
You only have so many f*cks to give, so learn to not waste them on stupid shit because those ‘stupid things’ are a part of everyday life, and they will never stop happening, and they will constantly challenge your ability to brush them off and stay focused on your path of happiness.
Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe
Positive energy attracts more positive energy, negative energy attracts more negative energy. So surround yourself with positive people who lift you up and not around negative people who hold you down. The world is full of amazingly beautiful people, you just need to be open and willing to find them; and willing to separate yourself from those that are not.
So Let’s Sum Up These Learnings:
- Try and have a positive outlook as often as possible, even when it doesn’t seem so possible. Self-awareness is crucial – if you find yourself pissed off, acknowledge that feeling, then try and shift that energy toward something positive.
- Smile and laugh as much as possible.
- Give, whether it’s your time, money, or knowledge. I guarantee it will make a difference in someone else’s life.
- Try every day to do more and more of things that make you happy and less of the things that don’t.
- Always be passionate about something, anything… You should always have something in your life that makes you jump out of bed each morning. Have a big goal and have a big why.
- The most important piece of all is, human connection. Tell people in your life you love them, thrive to build a better relationship with your family and be a better friend.
While these might not be your answers, they are things that have continually transformed my life over the last decade.
I have zero idea what my 30s will bring, but if I can say that I made each day better than the last, lived more in the moment, enjoyed, loved, grew as a person, made a positive impact, and was happy, then what I do or don’t do… doesn’t seem to matter all that much.